Saturday, September 2, 2017

A dollhouse miniature macaron tower that means so much

This dollhouse miniature tower, holds a very special place in my heart… it signifies strength, wisdom, kindness to one self, and possibly even more. 

I have been contemplating if I wanted to write about this. I thought about it. This is afterall my personal blog. Yes I do write about my inspiration for the miniature pieces I create, and I largely want to keep it that way. THIS piece of work is also significant to me on many personal levels. At the same time, I'm also a very private person. I choose my counsel carefully. I'm hoping by being open about it, you can understand, if I am ever slow in my responses or sending off an order, it's not because I'm not trying my best. I WILL continue to provide the best service I can.

I was in the midst of creating this particular piece when my dearest mother, who is also my best friend got diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. You can imagine how life immediately changes completely when a loved one has been diagnosed with this disease. My mom also has Parkinson’s Disease for close to 10 years now. If this isn’t enough, she is also going through a divorce. Is there even a word called “triple whammy”? 

The beautiful thing of having been told that one has a stage iv breast cancer is that, you have time to mentally prepare and plan your departure. On the night when we gathered as a family after receiving this news, we had probably THE BEST conversation heart to heart, about life and death. Mom even had the wisdom to say that, death can come to anyone any minute, car accident as an example. So she isn't afraid. We had time to express our appreciation and love for one another. That was a precious moment.

My beautiful mother is such a strong and inspiration woman. She did not cry, not even up till now. Of course she was shocked when she was told by the doctor about stage iv cancer. I think anyone would be. After the shock, she had time to digest it and with her guiding faith, she knows and understands that death is part of life. Everyone of us has to go through it. This is not saying that she has given up - it just means she is at peace that she has this disease, she accepts and embrace it. She will go for treatment, and just honestly, live life to the fullest every single day. In fact, everyone of us should, whether we have cancer or not. 

I'm very thankful and grateful for having a few very wise friends. It makes a whole lot of difference. They offer me valuable insights, wise advice and basically teach me how to look at things. It's really amazing how one can have a transformational learning about life and what truly matters in times of hardships, only if we don't resist it.

If all of us can talk about death openly, the first thing it does is fear is being removed. And when fear is removed, we can be open, and truly enjoy even the simplest moments. 

So yup, I've said it. 

I'm curious about how my upcoming works in the future would transform into. I'm not even sure about the direction. But I'm just keeping my heart open. One thing I know is they will be even more meaningful to me for sure. I suspect that it might take me a longer time to create pieces, as my caregiving duties will be ramped up significantly. But I am still going to create, because it is something that helps me to express whatever I'm feeling. I'm not sure if cathartic is the right word even. I'm just curious and look forward to whatever that comes. I want to work, and I STILL love my work and need to work :) 

I'm very thankful to my close knitted group of friends and counsel. (Thank you Deborah!!) My best friend who lives in Seattle is planning to visit me and mom soon. I'm looking forward to that. My best friend, mom and I have always had wonderful conversations. 

When the tough gets going, I will tell myself, one day at a time. And when a day at a time is EVEN so hard, I'll tell myself one breath at a time. 


  1. Oh Pei Li, I am so saddened to hear this. I know from your blog how close you are to your mother (I am the same with mine and would do anything for her). I hope that she can fight it with everything she has and at the very least make her time as long and as pleasant as it can be. It is very hard to be the person so close to her because you cannot do anything but help her - you can't change the situtation and you can't take on her pain. I say this to myself often - just keep breathing. Sending love. Xxx

    1. Thank you dear Shannon. I truly appreciate your time and support! Yes mom is a fighter, she's strong. She will try her best. More importantly, she's determined to live each day to its fullest. Thank you, I appreciate it! :)

  2. Bless your heart for sharing this devastating news with us, Pei Li. Having you there for support must mean the world to her. You have such a beautiful attitude, and that will surely bring much comfort to her through all that you must face together. You'll both be in my heart and on my mind. Please do share updates as you feel you're ready to. Take care.

    1. Hi Jodi, Thank you for your warm wishes and comment. I appreciate you! Thank you, I will share when I have more. Meanwhile, we are just taking it day by day.


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